Don’s Great Adventure on a Tuesday Morning
April 22, 2016
Once upon a time on a Tuesday morning, there was a duck. He was a very bored duck. His name was Don. Donald Duckling Burrogh to be exact.
He was swimming aimlessly down the river. He didn’t notice that he was swimming too far and lost sight of his mother.
“Oh, no! I’m lost!” he said.
Don tucked down beside some bushes.
Goose came along and asked him, “Where is your mother?”
Don replied, “I’m lost, and I can’t find her.”
“I can take you in until your mom finds you,” said Goose.
Don replied, “Thank you.”
Then for two days and a night he stayed over. Don’s mother finally found him She gave Goose a whole bag of fish!
I really enjoyed your piece, and you were so successful working with dialogue! Your voice especially popped out at me. Two of your word choices that I liked a lot were “aimlessly” describing how Don went down the river, and when you chose “tucked in” to describe how he hid when he was feeling afraid. I look forward to reading more of your writing!